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Sunday, July 25, 2004
So I felt like divulging information to someone.I was thinking about who I should email,then I decided to post it as a blog where I don't have to to EXPECT a reply.I'm so sick of being invisible to the people I email.
I'm having a fairly tough time here in Calgary.I don't feel right here ,and I don't know why,I don't feel right at the church or the youth group I don't feel right in my new bedroom and I don't feel right sitting here at the computer.I've been having some bouts of depression,probably some of the worst depression I've ever excperienced.mabye that's commen when one get's themselves pulled out from their roots and replanted in a completly alien surrounding.I'm just feeling so lonely and I can't imagine what could help.I've been listening to one boc song so often called "Oirectine",I've downloaded many of their songs lately but this one seems to be my soundtrack right now.very alien indeed,give it a whirl and you'll hear how i'm doing.
So I've decided to find a new Youth group for a number of reasons.
#1 is definatly the fact that both times I've gone,there hasn't been a message!We go, we sing and we play.It's definatly lacking in that aspect as far as I'm concerned.I mean, I guess I did get to discuss with 3 complete stranger wher eI want to go with my life.I can't tell you it was terribly encouraging hearing everyone elses dreams and hopes while I sit and try and remember when I finished school or where I'm going to school next,or what my home address is.
#2 is that I'm ready to go to my own youth group where I'm not "jesse's brother" or "angies brother",I'm a lot more comfortable when my siblings aren't around (no offense Jesse or Angie).
#3 I'm a little fatigued by the antics of a few of the people,not that a different youth won't have it's share of "people"
Anyways,there are my reasons,I'm definatly ready for a change.
-Caleb
P.S. Gregg,Jolene,Kate,Ruth,Mei and Alex & Gab,I miss you all so much and can't wait to see you.
Caleb 6:58 PM
Monday, July 19, 2004
Okay,I want to reccomend a brutal movie I just saw recently.
It's called "mean girls" and it's definatly not what you excpect.You either see it thinking its a fluffy pink movie (it stars fluffy pink movie staple Lindsay Lohan) and aren't terribly excited about it but you find yourself totally surprised that it's one of the funniest most caustic movies of this year,Or you enter it with your 9 and 11 year old daughter thinking it's a fluffy pink movie (it stars fluffy pink movie staple Linsay Lohan) and your girls are terribly excited about it,then you realise that this movie should have been rated PG13 (it's PG rating was a big mistake) and you leave feeling stupid and guilty.either way you excpect it to be a fluffy pink movie.a word of warning, it isn't.This isn't "freaky friday","sleepover" or "confessions of a teenage drama queen".If i was to compare this movie to any other like it,the movie I'd compare it to is "Heathers" which is an old 80's flick (that is nearly as enjoyable as "mean grils" but almost a little too dark))in which wynona ryder decides she'd be better off without the clique of girls known as the "heathers" (all three have the name heather) and she decides to kill them.The comparisons are unavoidable but this is much less brutal than that movie but just as funny and meaningful.These movies give parents and home-schoolers a glimpse of high-school life as it really is.It's not "pretty in pink"-ey or "princess diarys"-ey it's a realistic look at what the youth of today suffers through in the company of their so-called "friends".I've read reviews of this movie from christian parents who regretted letting their kids see this movie,the kids on the other hand say there is nothing in the movie they haven't already excperienced in their own school.It's a harsh movie but so incredibly funny.Don't get me wrong this isn't a raunchy sick movie,it's just not a fluffy pink movie but if you regualarly watch movies like "50 first dates" or anything with jim carrey you won't likely be offended.Some of the scenes are truly disturbing.there is one image that is impossible to shake,And that is the image of the 7 year old girl replicating a christina/brittany/beyonce video in the living room complete with slithery clothes and suggestive moves.This scene isn't meant to be "haha" funny.It's meant as an exxagerated depiction of what's happening and what's to come with todays kids.it's funny because it's so over the top but it almost makes you cry at the same time,much like "brazil" (and it's view of the mordern/working/paper/file world) makes you laugh and at the same time have a real fear of tommorrow.
I now realise what a blessing it was to be homeschooled.
Caleb 9:34 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Okay so I downloaded a song called "Dead Dogs Two" by cLOUDDEAD.it's a phenomenal song and I totally loved it,it's got crazy/funny lyrics and an entertaining folky/rap/techno sound to it.I knew Boards of Canada did a remix of it but I accidently downloaded the original.I thought Boards of Canada are good but I doubt their remix is actually better.I was wrong.They remix it in a way so it's still intact (unlike aphex twins style of ripping songs apart so their is no trace of the original left) but add their own sound to it and it fits very well.It's got enough of BoCs own style in it that it actually made me cry which is weird because it's not a song to cry to.anyways,if you care about good music and have high-speed internet you have no excuse.You won't be dissappoited (i don't think).while you're at it download "Chinook"(a weather phenomona commen calgary,where BoC spent a year of their life and I swear on "Whitewater" another great BoC song I can hear someone say "returning to the stampede") and "flim" which is a short very beautiful aphex twin song that will change your mind if you don't believe he's actually a modern day composer.
anyways I bet you would like some info of whats going in my life.Oh well,right now I don't feel like talking about it.mabye later........mabye
Caleb 6:24 AM
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