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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Oh boy a chance for my loyal reader to get a glipse into my phsyce!
Last night I had a nightmare,a visual nightmare not one of those "people whispering in your ears" hallucinations" a real,tangible nightmare that makes you afraid to go back to sleep.Possibly the first nightmare I've had in years.but the interesting thing here,is this dream is one of those nightmare i used to have where everyone'd say "what's so scary about that?" It's been a while since i've had a nightmare that only i would be afraid to have.
We had a day off from work me,Mom and Jesse.so we decided to go on a drive it's a dreary day (the kind I described in part on my previous post) snowy and brown with a hint of dull,green.And we reach the edge of the city (may as well be the edge of earth) and the road follows the perimiter of the city)and in the distance we see the centerpiece of my dream,A huge hulking monolith of pink concrete in the shape of a towering house,no details to it,it's the kind of house a child draws four walls and a peaked roof,but it's very tall and skinny ( imean HUGE like 20 stories high or more) and it has a column of windows down the center.there are also three extremly large (but nowhere near the size and hieghtof the pink house) three green houses the lights are off and they seem abandoned but something is definatly going on inside the pink house It looked abandoned but I could "feel"
someone in there doing something... anyways when we get back home I search google for "big pink building" and "pink house art" I know that it's some sort of artwork but anyways I finally came across the artists webpage his name was long and unreadable so i don't remember it (possibly inspired by the spingebob episode i saw last night in which they dig up "smitty wernen yenger manjensen's" grave) the webpage had a map of calgary and apperantly this guys "art "was all around the perimeter of the city and the map had little images of each piece and they were all pretty morbid and disturbing in a variety of ways so i got that sick feeling i get when I'm getting scared before i go to bed,because it was nightime by then in my dream..Like,when i watch a scary movie at night.the same feeling.anyways when I woke up I was okay for a while because i woke up a little later in my dream so i had kind of forgotten the dream but I had that emotion still left over so i tried ot decipher which dream had given me that doom-like emotion and then it came rushing back and I was very afraid to go back to bed scared that i might conrtinue dreaming about the pink house and mabye even enter it...
Caleb 7:40 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
I love dreams,I really do.And i don't mean hypothetical "what ifs" or "In the future i hope to..." I mean the dreams of the sleeping mind.I love my dreams anyways,I've never excperienced anyone elses (except mabye alexes,one time we met each other in our dreams and we both recalled having the same dream the same night,how weird) but I have discovered that I've gotten used to the moods Of my dreams I look back at dreams I considered nightmares and some of them are very much the same as some of my faveoeite dreams now (not all of them) but my faveorite dreams are the ones that have this huge mountain of emotions,usually ranging from heavy foreboding to trippy melencholia.Dark,oily skys covering vast abandoned citys with tall wooden skyscraper and rickety elevators.the people in my faveorite dreams are silent and thoughtful,they think like me and disappear from time to time.I love dark aquariums and museums with bizarre tableaus on display.I like crawling through glass tunnels and just seeing sky outside underneath me and above me and coming out into cold mountaintops with grey heather and infite chasms of mist and wind and everyone just standing there wondering if we should climb down or go back into the tunnel....I'm going to go on for a bit...I like unlit rooms with portraits on the walls ,I like running through black grass fields in the full moon to an abandoned shack, lighting a lantern and finding remnants of someone that liveed there in the past like tiny pictures of family and moldy sleeping bags and farming tools hanging on the wall.attics with little roof left, howling wind and straw everywhere,I like rusty stairs leading to a flooded basement with inifite mazes of leaking pipes.Some of my faveorit dreams have a brazil-like quality that i realy love,minus the creepy baby-masks and torture chambers.just purple buildings and empty shopping malls that let me know I owe the dream entirely to "brazil".
I wish all my dreams were like this, I average about one dream per weeks thats memorable in this way,sometimes I'll remember a dream i had weeks ago,it'll come flooding back bringing that strange mood that only dreams have back to my head and I'll enjoy it and try and remember all the details of it.sometimes the mood can linger for a whole day,some dreams have that wonderful ecstatic feeling and you wish it would never go away,where you feel pure happiness unlike any you excperiance in real-life,mabye that's what it's like to be in love,I wouldn't know....
Caleb 7:55 PM
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